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Reason why this post is being written that plausibly masks my abnormal social behavior.
Possible mention of recent meteorological activities as a secondary excuse for said choice of temporal seclusion. Joke about the unpleasantness of local climate as a whole during the current weather season. Abbreviation for self-induced audible Sex adult Columbus Ohio cm 45.
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Smooth transition. Expression of indecisiveness regarding how to describe.
Misleading statement about never having done such a thing. Narcissistic statement that simultaneously emphasizes my real world attractiveness and belittles the internet as a viable means to encounter desirable mates.
Oblivious follow-up. Contradictory declaration of hopes that current post may yield favorable. Tempering of genuine enthusiasm so as to not appear desperate.
Introduction of self with added explanation of posting motives. Assured reasoning that internet is unnecessary for own socialization with strong emphasis on real world friend s and disavowal of any hermit tendencies.
Juxtaposed dark humor with lighthearted implication of far more serious serial-killing tendencies. Playful emoticon to clearly convey preceding sentence was definitively made in jest.
Awkward consideration of the fact that joke may have gone too far for an initial introduction. Reassurance of my own harmless intentions. Self-deprecating remark about my less-than-imposing masculinity as an overcompensatory and backwards mea culpa.
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Serious single sentence paragraph that stands out in its seriousness because it is a single sentence paragraph. Heartfelt and genuine explanation of my hopeless romanticism and unrelenting search for 'eternal soulmate'.
Truly beautiful ultimatum stating said 'eternal soulmate' must live within 20 minute travel radius around my current and probably temporary location for the sake of general convenience. Humorous postscript.